Articles
The Quasi-Apology
When Cincinnati Reds first baseman Joey Votto reached into the stands for a foul pop, a fan’s interference caused him to miss the catch. Votto was angry and grabbed the Reds logo on the fan’s shirt as if to say, “Whose side are you on?” The fan was humiliated in front of thousands of people.
To his credit, Votto came over to the fan in the next inning and spoke to him, gave him a signed baseball, took a picture with him. I don’t know what he said, but it was a nice gesture to atone for his overreaction.
However, the signed baseball said, “Thanks for being so understanding when I acted out of character.” On the surface, that may sound acceptable, but was it an apology or a defense? It sounds to me like a rationale for excusing what was simply bad behavior. Yes, I know that sports competition is intense. How else do we justify head coaches screaming profanities, throwing headsets, turning purple and otherwise acting like jerks?
But a true apology doesn’t try to mitigate or escape responsibility for what we did wrong. Everyone has moments of weakness, not just professional baseball players. Stress presents an opportunity for temptation to take advantage of us. If we truly want to make amends, a simple “I’m sorry; that was wrong” message needs to be offered, not a “that wasn’t really me” exoneration. A true apology to one offended is hard because it is an admission of our weakness and flawed motives.
