Articles
Parental Malpractice
It is a certain sign of a society’s decline when parents do not have the will or wisdom to care properly for their children. Parents unmoved by the helplessness and total dependency of their child; natural affection for one’s offspring mothered by selfish interests; babies are aborted for the sake of convenience; children thoughtlessly exposed to gross immorality; toddlers neglected and left to fend for themselves – such scenarios are clear and disturbing signs that our culture is not well.
I, for one, am weary of reading about children left to die in hot cars; of little ones abandoned while their parents go to concerts or even on vacations; of armed pre-teens robbing people or carjacking; of skyrocketing truancy from school; of teen suicides; of gang membership and murder of the young; of administering hormone blockers and surgery to children who are enduring a passing phase of confusion, anxiety or societal pressure.
And please don’t dismiss such as media sensationalism: there’s far too much evidence from various sources – the political right and left, academia, law enforcement, etc. – to bury our heads in the sand and pretend that these things are not really happening. The fact of the matter is that our nation’s children are being put through the meat grinder of parental malpractice, whatever the deeper causes of that may be. If people are going to engage in activities that are known to result in pregnancy, they should do so with a certain degree of gravity, commitment and self-sacrifice that is necessary to responsibly raise a child. That applies to the married and unmarried alike.
What parents DON’T owe their children.
Stuff. Many parents feel duty-bound to buy their children the newest, coolest, most expensive gadgets that hit the market. I saw a girl about age ten in Walmart wearing a pair of expensive headphones. Someone else told of seeing a family in a restaurant all on their devices and the kids wearing headphones; no conversation. Why are parents not astute enough to realize the dangers of the things they buy for their children? Whether designer label clothes, or makeup for pre-teen girls, or sophisticated computers (with little effective oversight of usage), parents should think carefully about the consequences of what they provide for their children, especially when those things have the potential to undermine purity, destroy family communication and cohesion and introduce their children to other authorities besides their parents.
Unquestioned advocacy. Parents are not obligated to support their children in whatever misguided thoughts or actions they may express. In a recent interview Elon Musk admitted that he was duped by medical authorities to support his son’s gender transition. Now, with a heavy heart and 20/20 hindsight, Musk confessed, “I lost my son … They call it ‘dead-naming’ for a reason. The reason they call it ‘dead-naming’ is because your son is dead. My son, Xavier, is dead – killed by the woke mind virus.” Elon Musk is one of the most brilliant, innovative minds on the planet, and in his naivete bought into the soul-destroying fad of transgenderism. Young people trying to navigate the maze of information, promiscuity, marketing and peer pressure need the steady hands of their parents at the helm. They need wise advocacy, guidance of parents who themselves are grounded, circumspect and not gullible to the latest fads that sell defective products, services and ideas.
Absolute autonomy. Subversive societal messaging has long vilified parents who impart their values to their children, who strictly discipline them, who raise expectations on their children in order to prepare them for a complex world of financial management, meaningful education, social duty and submission to authority. The drumbeat of mockery and criticism has created a generation of weak, hesitant, permissive parents who shirk hands-on guidance and fail to hold their children accountable for their actions. The digressive results of this philosophy are obvious.
What parents DO owe their children.
A loving, committed marriage. So much damage is done to the psyches of children who see their parents fight with, curse, threaten and disrespect each other. “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for it … and let the wife see that she respects her husband” (Eph 5:25, 33). Parents who divorce are laying a foundation of depression, insecurity and marital dysfunction in their children. Children need to see parents having a date night, holding hands and hugging each other, affectionate words spoken and the worth of the other being affirmed.
Time. “Quality time” is a myth created to justify parents’ absence from their children’s lives. Effective nurture requires significant time which itself shows care and devotion. “And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord” (Eph 6:3). This cannot be done on a shoestring. Parents owe it to their children to delay their own gratification until their formative years are past – a period that cannot be delayed. There is no do-over in parenthood; once the window of opportunity is shut, it cannot be reopened. When parents bring a child into the world, one of the sacrifices to be made is selfish pursuits that compromise the time and energy children need (parents can enjoy their own hobbies and interests within reason, but family life supplants individual activities to a large degree). If parents aren’t willing to make such sacrifices, then they need to stop producing offspring.
A God-centered lifestyle. As the world swamps our children’s minds, some Christians think 30 minutes of “lesson-getting” per week will sufficiently sandbag against the deluge. Moses said it best 3,500 years ago: “These words which I command you today shall be in your heart; you shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up … You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates” (Dt 6:6-9). Make the worship of God the centerpiece of your home rather than just a ritual. Live it; be consistent; make worship a priority; warn them, frankly but age-appropriately, of the dangers of the world. When children grow up and jettison everything they were taught, it is usually too late to set things straight. The window of opportunity opens with their first breath and ends when they step into the world on their own, if not before. May God give us wisdom so that the rest of our lives are a joyful testament to the godly nurturing of our children.
