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From the Mailbag
I occasionally get questions on thorny issues. Sometimes my response is a simple, “I don’t know” (as to sister who asked why a Jewish mother was considered unclean twice as long for a female child as for a male – Lev 12). At other times I take longer to express my ignorance.
Another challenging question came from a brother overseas. Keeping in mind that his culture is very different from our own, his question concerned his 15 year old son who wants to wear a small hoop in his left earlobe. The father stated:
“(He) is not a Christian. He is generally a good boy and obedient to us … although he also sometimes makes some mistakes. He has been attending church meetings with us, and he devotes part of his time to reading the Bible. He is also a responsible student …
“But like every young person, he is also exposed to the influence of the world, which comes either through friendships, or through media such as TV, music, the Internet, etc. He has some friends, but unfortunately none is from a Christian family. And since my family and I started a new work in a neighboring city just a year ago, the group has not yet grown and there are no more young Christians.
“We always try to know who their friends are and what influence they might have on him, and we think that in general things are going well. We know and have some friendship with the parents of their two closest friends. But he also has some friendship with a couple of schoolmates whose family we do not know, although there does not seem to be any danger on that side.
“Recently he wanted to start using a piercing … as one of his friends, and as is the practice of many young people in today’s society. But my wife and I do not agree with him and we have not given him permission to do this, basically because we do not think this is good for the appearance and influence that a … child of Christian parents should have (Matt. 5:13-16; Titus 2:10; Rom. 12:2; 1 John 2:15-17; James 4:4). And also, because based on 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, I think that putting a piercing in the ear makes an unnecessary wound (damage) in our body, which we should take care of and use to glorify God.”
The father than asked if I had any biblical arguments to support his position. So, pretend you are me and have fun answering!
Here are some of my observations on his post:
1) I believe that parents in such a situation have the authority to regulate what their children wear, who their friends are, where they go, etc. I also believe this father genuinely wants to be a good influence in his son’s life and wants his son to be a good influence on his friends.
2) I seriously question his application of the above verses to wearing an earring. Jesus (Mt 5) speaks of letting the light of our convictions shine before the world. Paul (Tit 2) speaks of slaves not pilfering or otherwise defrauding their masters that they may “adorn the doctrine of God.” Paul (Rom 12) warns against being conformed to the world, but this is not a prohibition against being fashionable unless such is immoral or otherwise sinful. James warns of lust leading to interpersonal wars, thus making one an enemy of God. Somehow, though fairly conservative on social mores, I don’t see a small, unobtrusive earring fitting into these categories.
3) I especially disagree with the application of 1 Cor 6:19-20 (“your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit … glorify God in your body”) to this issue. The context is Paul’s strong condemnation of the Corinthians’ sexual immorality: “Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a harlot?” (6:15). This is a total corruption of the passage’s context.
4) It is this type of misuse of Scripture that runs the bigger risk of alienating children than allowing them to wear an earring. Most kids are perceptive enough to see through the misapplication, and they then conclude their parents are merely using the Bible to prop up their opinions.
Here are some excerpts from my response to the concerned dad: “If any kind of markings on the body or piercings are sinful, this would also prohibit circumcision, earrings for women, etc. Where such things can cross a line is debasing one’s appearance for immoral or ungodly purposes (I’m thinking of extreme piercings, surgical alterations of tongue, scalp, cheeks, etc. to mimic satanic symbols). Doing such things to shock, identify with the devil, etc. are obviously in a different category than a pierced earlobe. Another consideration, which I cannot speak to, is the cultural atmosphere in ________ (foreign country) and what a male pierced earlobe may suggest. You will have to judge that (as) a member of that culture. But on the face of it I would not consider a pierced earlobe to be sinful per se …
“I think I would lean toward letting him get the earring. First, as it does not appear to be a matter of sin or harming of one’s reputation, it might appear to him to be an arbitrary rule and too strict for the circumstances. Second, it’s not a permanent condition. The hole will grow back together if he stops wearing the earring. This is different from getting a tattoo or doing some other radical surgical operation to alter one’s appearance. I would feel differently if that were the case … Unless I am misreading your culture, I would say the potential for harm is minimal.”
Ah, the joys of parenthood. There are difficult judgment calls: what is a true threat to spirituality or just a passing fad? When might overly stringent rules provoke instead of encourage? Let us be wise, fair, compassionate. Above all, let us handle God’s word properly as we seek to nurture our children in godliness.
