Articles
It's All About Me
I was pumping gas at a Sam’s Club in Knoxville, Tennessee when a woman pulled up close to my rear bumper. She was weathered, perhaps in her sixties, and riding a big touring bike. “Excuse me, sir,” she said. “Do you have to be a member to buy gas here?” “Yes,” I replied, somewhat suspicious of a question that should have been obvious to a grizzled Harley-riding granny. “Do you have a membership card that I could use?” she ventured. “No, I’m not going to do that,” I responded, a bit taken aback by her expectation that I should cheat for her.
Rebuffed, Granny Harley began muttering under her breath something about traveling on the road. I couldn’t hear her clearly, but I’m sure she wasn’t wishing me a pleasant trip. As she inched her big hog between me and the car at the next pump, I half expected a geriatric boot to my quarter panel.
This was not some bag lady asking for a handout. She was obviously well-resourced as she was riding a $40,000 Harley. She was independent and savvy enough to be traveling alone. She was free to do what I had done – purchase a Sam’s membership and buy her gas at a discount. Despite all that, she tried to cheat the system and was indignant that I wouldn’t go along. My honesty made me, in her mind, the bad guy.
This brief exchange is a microcosm of a broader attitude permeating our society. That attitude is one of flagrant selfishness, the assumption that the rules don’t apply to me, and the ones that do can be broken so long as I don’t get caught. Everyone else must bend to my will, and I’ll intimidate those who resist.
This attitude is a concern on various levels. First, it destroys any effort to function effectively as a group, including that of brethren working together in a local church. Joint efforts succeed when selfish considerations are subordinated to the welfare of all: “Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others” (Ph 2:3-4).
Selfishness was the driving force behind the Judaizers in the early church. Their main concern was their standing among the broader unsaved Jewish community, and they sold out Gentile brethren by imposing rules upon them which violated the gospel: “As many as desire to make a good showing in the flesh, these try to compel you to be circumcised, only that they may not suffer persecution for the cross of Christ” (Gal 6:12). In this case the rules were not being negated as much as they were being added to: Gentiles needed baptism and circumcision to satisfy the Judaizers’ effort to appease their unbelieving peers. This Paul vehemently denied, and he castigated in the strongest terms those who refused to stand on pure gospel principle and, in so doing, dishonored their Gentile brethren.
Second, a basic principle of discipleship to Christ is to learn and conform to His requirements and expectations: “But why do you call Me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and do not do the things which I say?” (Lk 6:46). This, of course, is rhetorical for Jesus knew exactly why their actions did not agree with their words. Our obedience to the Lord is an outgrowth of love: “He who has My commandments and keeps them, it is he who loves Me” (Jn 14:21). Love for Jesus takes into account the sacrifice He made to save us and the exalted position of authority He now occupies (Mt 28:18; Eph 1:20-23).
The desire to bend the rules to accommodate our opinions, comfort and convenience betrays a basic lack of respect for Christ. Suppose I had given in to Granny Harley’s suggestion that I should let her buy gas on my membership. What would that say about my respect for the company that offers me reduced price shopping? What would it say about my agreement to membership terms which prohibit loaning my card to others? What would it say about my consideration for fellow members who follow the rules and in so doing honor and protect the rights of all?
Third, it is tempting to fudge on the rules when the infraction doesn’t seem consequential. What’s the big deal about letting Granny Harley buy gas for a few cents less than nearby gas stations? This is where I think otherwise conscientious people can be persuaded to do wrong. We may reason from the consequence rather than the principle.
Many things in life are matters of judgment. There is flexibility in deciding what course of action to take. By all means, in such areas let us show compassion, generosity, deference. Don’t press the argument to the point of being overbearing, discourteous or divisive (1 Cor 6:7). Seek unity (1 Cor 1:10; Eph 4:3). Be humble (Rom 12:3; Jas 4:6). “In honor give preference to one another” (Rom 12:10).
But other things are matters of principle; they are “black and white,” right or wrong. On these matters a firm stand must be taken no matter how inconsequential the issue may seem. Don’t lie (Eph 4:25). Don’t steal (Eph 4:28). Don’t forsake assembling (Heb 10:25). Obey your parents (Eph 6:1-3). Treat your wife “as being heirs together of the grace of life” (1 Pet 3:7). “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord” (Eph 5:22). We are tempted to circumvent these and other gospel commands when they conflict with selfish concerns.
Finally, as demonstrated by Granny Harley, a selfish mentality encourages resentment of those who are trying to follow the rules. The obedient tweak the conscience of the scofflaw. They embarrass him by rejecting his schemes. They interfere with him getting his way. The reaction often is to criticize, berate, backstab or otherwise vent anger toward the one who did right. (Have you ever honked at someone who was recklessly violating traffic laws only to have them yell obscenities or flash crude gestures at you as if you’re the problem?)
Proverbs and other passages of Scripture show us that there are certain self-centered behaviors that consistently result in disadvantage or destruction. In the end, life is hard for the chronically disobedient who shove everybody else out of the way so they can get what they want. There may be temporary euphoria in beating the system, but at what price? If it is God’s system that is being violated, the Lawmaker will have the last word. So, Granny Harley, call 1-800-CLUB-SAM and sign up for your very own membership card today. Follow the rules like everyone else.
