Articles
Some Challenges of Adolescence
In our teen devotion last week we explored some of the issues facing adolescents. Those of us in the adult ranks may remember some things about our teen years, but it is hard to recall how we felt and coped on a daily basis. Besides, present society is vastly different from forty years ago. So, what are some of the challenges of this period of life?
First, adolescence is a time of transition. Everything is changing, from one’s physical body to greater mental awareness to expectations. And the changes are rapid. This can be very unsettling and confusing to teens. They have no life-experience to draw on. Every phase is brand new and has to be learned from scratch.
Also, it is a time of increased responsibility. When we are younger, adults cut us some slack because we didn’t know better. But in adolescence, expectations increase. Class assignments are due on time; “I forgot” is irrelevant; everyone actually does not get a trophy. This can be a rude awakening.
Then there is the expansion of relationships beyond the family. Others begin to encounter us not as children but as peers. The web of parental control and oversight gradually fades as we begin to build our own life structure. This brings growth and reward, but it can also be threatening in ways teens may not understand.
Further, wise parents allow teens greater freedom in decision making. Driving expands the realm of activity. A part-time job puts a little money in one’s pocket that brings spending choices. This inevitably leads to a teen’s sense that he/she is more independent and capable of managing their affairs than is actually the case. But that’s part of the process, too – learning one’s limits and separating reality from wishful thinking.
Many more things accompany adolescence including a sense of duty, sacrificing for others, examining one’s faith and dealing with questions that challenge it, losing loved ones in death, conflicts with parents and siblings, etc. Teen years are a turbulent time for both kids and parents.
One short article cannot address all the complex elements of adolescence, but let me offer two broad suggestions:
Parents: Your teen children need to see steadiness, maturity and true faith in action. They do not need vacillating, immature, reactionary parents who are always in crisis. Children want to know that their parents have a firm grip on the wheel, that there are boundaries, that your word is gospel, that there is uncompromised devotion to the Lord. These examples will stick with them long after specific words of wisdom have faded from memory.
Children: You need to respect your parents and be patient (Eph 6:1-3). It is natural to want independence and to do adult things, but with freedom comes a burden of responsibility. Life is hard in a way you will not understand until you are in your parents’ shoes. God takes rebellion against parents very seriously; it carried the death penalty under Mosaic law. Be thankful for your parents and let them help you through these transitions. They know more than you think they do. (By the way, we have a special group of young people who are smart, polite and spiritually minded. But don’t let this fool you. They bear a lot of adolescent stress.)
