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What David Learned from Abigail
This article is an expansion of the principle introduced on page one. In it we explored the idea that hypocrisy is not merely doing something out of duty when our emotions run counter to it. In fact, by doing what we know to be right, even when it is difficult, we are training our emotions to align with God’s will.
Consider the case of David’s intent to kill Nabal. When David’s messengers are rebuffed by the arrogant Nabal and David is demeaned as a runaway slave, David’s anger boiled over: “Every man gird on his sword” (1 Sam 25:13).
Nabal “was harsh and evil in his doings … such a scoundrel that one cannot speak to him” (25:3, 17). David’s men had protected Nabal’s shepherds, and in that culture it was reasonable for Nabal to extend a gratuity for their service (he was “very rich” – 25:2). David’s anger is not unreasonable, for even God is angry with Nabal and will take his life (25:38).
But David’s anger was out of control, leading him down a path he would later regret. And herein lies the problem: emotions can incite us to follow a course of action that is at odds with God’s will. Abigail wisely penetrated David’s blind rage and persuaded him to desist (25:23-31).
How Abigail did this is instructive. Note especially how she puts David’s anger in perspective: “The Lord has held you back from coming to bloodshed and from avenging yourself with your own hand” (25:26). David acknowledges this when in a calmer frame of mind (25:33).
David’s challenge was refraining from doing what his natural instinct was compelling him to do, a different scenario than we considered on page one. Sometimes we must positively act on something contrary to our emotions – like doing good toward our enemies – and sometimes we must withhold ourselves from doing what we feel like doing. In either case, the challenge is to do the right thing and not let emotion overcome reason.
Another persuasive argument from Abigail is in 1 Sam 25:28: “For the Lord will certainly make for my lord an enduring house, because my lord fights the battles of the Lord, and evil is not found in you throughout your days.” Abigail is trying to refocus David’s unbridled desire for vengeance by reminding him of his true character. David’s manner of life has been fighting God’s battles, not engaging in petty self-promotion. Extreme emotions drive us toward actions that are out of character. This is one reason why people caught up in error often say, “I don’t know why I did that. That’s not who I really am.”
There are elements of weakness in all of us that, under normal circumstances, remain in check. They are suppressed by a variety of forces: peer pressure, fear of shame, financial loss, etc. But overblown emotions can break down those walls of resistance and allow ungodliness to spew forth.
A lesson to be learned from this episode is that our feelings can get in the way of doing what is right. One element of self-control is not allowing our emotions to guide us, for they are often faulty compasses. We gain greater self-control by disciplining our emotions, and this in turn makes it easier to exercise self-control. This is what the Spirit is trying to develop within us (cf. Gal 5:23; 2 Pet 1:6). It was not hypocrisy for David to act against his inclination to kill Nabal. It was merely overcoming his passion to do the right thing. Likewise, it is not hypocritical to feed our enemy when he is hungry even though we don’t feel like it. Thank God for the Abigails in our lives, who help us see through the emotion and do the right thing.
